we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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