if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
