You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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