Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
