so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.