Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.