You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful