I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
