Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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