I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
