she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
