Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
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the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Drunk is not a location!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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