If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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