Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
