goodnight i made you a song goodbye
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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