Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
