i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
