sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
