It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
