so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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