I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Congratulations! We have a period
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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