how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
