when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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