Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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