i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Randomize
