The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
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My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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