I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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