Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
