I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
