Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
