I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
