She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
