A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
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