Non-Jews are for practice
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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