Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
