So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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