Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
