What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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