I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
