I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize