ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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