I showed him my bush... on skype.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
