Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize