you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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