She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
