everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
