don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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