I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
