Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
