margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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