I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
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Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
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Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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