it's too hot outside to masturbate.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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