he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
