That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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