Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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